


it's too quiet (uptown)

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Hamilton References, Pain, Pepper Potts Feels, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Song: It's Quiet Uptown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 10:07:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19082848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The war is over. A sacrifice has been made.And Pepper Potts grieves.





	it's too quiet (uptown)

**Author's Note:**

> Not beta-ed, all mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Despite my love for Stony, I have a lot of respect for Pepper Potts so I thought it was only fair that we have a little something for her. 
> 
> I can guarantee I've made some errors, so if you have anything for me leave a comment and I'll make the appropriate edits.

Pepper Potts loved Tony Stark.

She loved him for all his eccentricities.

For his hidden fragility.

For his charisma.

For his shoes with lifts because he refused to be short, for his horrible obsession-addiction with coffee, for all of that and more.

Despite his flaws, for his flaws, for better, and for worse. She loved him.

So of course, letting him go was the hardest thing she would ever have to do.

More than anything they’d ever gone through together, Tony’s death was by far the most painful. Pepper could no longer be separated from Morgan, couldn’t have her out of her eyesight. Unable to let go because she was so scared that one moment the child would be playing innocently in a field, and the next gone. Just like her father, in a single moment. And losing her would be a hell Pepper Potts was certain she would not survive.

Morgan didn’t really understand. It wasn’t the sort of thing a five year old could grasp, as smart and clever as she was. Yes, she knew her father wasn’t coming back. She would not be lied to, never would she be lied to. Never would Pepper let another Stark be put through lies and bluffs, through betrayal and heartbreak and bullshit. She was told by her mother that daddy wouldn’t be coming home. Told what a hero he’d been. told of the sacrifices he’d made, told that they’d all been for her. And they all assured her that all Tony would want for her was happiness. Things like this would keep him alive. Things like this would keep his memory from being tarnished.

Now it had been days and weeks, and Pepper hadn’t gotten used to everything that was so achingly, chillingly, heartbreakingly different. The silence of their house. The lack of his presence, crashes and bangs from his basement workroom and occasional rings of the fire alarm, footsteps pounding up and down the stairs, notifications from Jarvis that Tony had been in the workshop for too many hours. It was so unfamiliar. And there was a crushing need to escape, to run away, get out of the empty house, leave behind the _absence_ of Tony Stark.

It’s a suffering almost too terrible to name. The knowledge that, even if you could turn back time, even if Pepper could clap her hands and make it all go away, it would still be that decision he’d make. The fatal decision of sacrifice. Tony would still lay his life down, snap his fingers. All for love. For family, for friendship. He would do it all again and she wouldn’t stop him because it was his choice and his life, his sacrifice to make.

Even if it was killing her and she was constantly fighting back tears, constantly on the verge of a breakdown, trying to understand through the pain of heartbreak. He made the choice so she would live. So Morgan, Peter, Harley, everyone fighting for humanity, all of them would live.

He made his choice, and now all she had to do was be strong for him and Morgan. Quiet down. Grieve. Move on.

Pushing away all the choices she couldn’t understand. Wishing she could take his hand again, just to give him more reassurance, a better send off, more time. Pretend she wasn’t afraid so he wouldn’t have to be. More time was all she wanted.

Pepper wasn’t religious. Hell, after three years of Catholic girls boarding school, she was ready to jump out a window. But the first night, alone in her bedroom, the other half of her bed cold and the house silent, she went outside to sit by the lake. And on the ground, outside, cold, and alone with the stars, she prayed for Tony’s soul. It was stupid, it was cliche, it was cheesy, it was probably blasphemous because fuck if she believed in a god, fuck if she believed that there was a heaven.

But it didn’t matter if she believed. If there was, Tony Stark better be lounging by a celestial pool, sipping weird vodka cocktail lemonade things that were stupid and flowery and not at all like him-

A sob had caught in her throat as she thought of his stupid face, complaining about the tiny paper umbrella.

Now it was silence again. Impossible to get used to as much as she pretended that it was alright her husband, the mad genius, wasn’t rambling about quantum whatnots, pretended it was perfectly fine that Morgan got deadly quiet sometimes at breakfast when Pepper slipped and asked her to call daddy up from the basement. Pretending she didn’t hurt deep inside when Morgan asked her why Tony wasn’t coming back.

And it was this way.

It would always be this way.

It was this way that Pepper Potts-Stark learned to live with the unimaginable.

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously this is based on the song "It's Quiet Uptown" from the musical Hamilton. I would like to state that I am no longer in the fandom, but I have an appreciation for this song so here we are. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed <3


End file.
